Monday, August 06, 2007

You Haven't Heard from Me in Two Years; Now Please Fix My Life

I just got the most annoying email from a former student. It reads:

Greetings, Dear Dr. Bluestocking,

I'm hoping you remember me. Also, I can hope that this is still your email address. So how are things? Getting ready for the new semester I'm sure. I miss all that shit. Well, sometimes anyway. I hope all is well.
I'm writing to ask for some advice. I am now 26, still unpublished, although I've never tried, currently unemployed as of four days ago, and I'm feeling as though I'm right on the verge of losing whatever potential I may have had. I think I'm asking if you've got any suggestions. Maybe a job, maybe a publisher, an agent. Maybe something else entirely. Until then I'll just play the lottery. Or something like that.

What am I supposed to do with that? I had suggestions when the kid was in my class, when it was my job to give him suggestions, and he chose not to take them. Now he has a crisis and he writes to me so I can find him "a job, a publisher, an agent"?

I don't think so.