Sunday, May 07, 2006

Unforgivable Sausage Weirdness

Normally I avoid shopping on Saturday, because so many other people go grocery shopping on Saturday--I hate crowds; I hate busy places; I hate having to wait in lines that take more than about four minutes from my life. But yesterday I was sadly in need of a few items, and I really wanted sushi for lunch (that's right, my grocery store does decent sushi), so I stopped by to buy a Wegmans sushi combo pack, salad, orange juice, marizpan and bubble bath.

The upside of shopping on Saturday is that you're more likely to get free samples, and as I mentioned, if there's free food to be had at my grocery store, I'm willing to take it. I had a bit of arugula salad topped with raspberry vinaigrette and feta; I had a bite of freshly broiled shoulder steak; and then I encountered the middle-aged affable woman, who was handing out pieces of sausage--but not just any sausage: no, this was chicken sausage flavored with blueberries.

Another woman and I accepted the chicken blueberry sausage sample at the same time. We chewed. We looked at each other. I cannot be certain, but the look of consternation in her eyes made me suspect she was thinking what I was thinking: How rude would it be to spit this out? And what else can I eat that will erase this flavor from my mouth? "That's, uh, really, uh, different," the other sampler said to the affable woman offering the samples. She didn't smile when she said it.

"Yes, it is different," the affable woman said, smiling broadly and motioning towards an empty package bearing the product's label. "You can get them with apples too."

I said nothing, just wheeled my cart toward the one cooking station I hadn't visited yet, where a far less affable woman was handing out far superior samples of stir-fried vegetables and grilled chicken with teriyaki sauce. The sauce was sweet and a bit fruity, but did not contain whole blueberries, and for that I was grateful.

6 Comments:

Blogger Dale said...

I too hate lines.

If you've ever found yourself at a Costco on a weekend, there's often a line just to get a taste of anything sample as the place is filled with sample mongering mobs.

Your Wegman's experience sounds a bit more civilized.

And funny.

4:36 PM  
Blogger Chris Clarke said...

You know, I'm hardly ever tempted to steal the Dave Barry "that woud be an excellent name for a band" trope.

But looking at the title of this post, it's hard to resist.

10:53 PM  
Anonymous Reese said...

Yo Bored, you're going to hate me for takin' the piss like this ... but I just have to -

Isn't this blog supposed to be the dangerous and true revelations of a Bored Dominatrix?

Girl, you just talk about shopping!

When are you going to give us some dirt? LOL. DON'T HATE ME! I HAD TO SAY IT!

2:25 PM  
Blogger Bored Dominatrix said...

Isn't this blog supposed to be the dangerous and true revelations of a Bored Dominatrix?

Girl, you just talk about shopping!


What is more dangerous for a dominatrix than to admit that her job is so boring that she'd rather talk about bad chicken sausage?

If you've ever found yourself at a Costco on a weekend, there's often a line just to get a taste of anything sample as the place is filled with sample mongering mobs.

In my cosmology, one of the circles of hell is a Costco where it is always the Saturday before Christmas, and you can never leave. I can't think many worse punishments that don't involve profound bodily harm and injury (the totally non-titillating kind).

2:51 PM  
Blogger Dale said...

Mmm free samples and punishment? I'm reevaluating as I salivate.

4:26 PM  
Blogger JJ said...

The blueberries sound gross and I'm not sure about chicken sausage, but I have had regular sausage with apple and it's wonderful.

8:44 AM  

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