Where Were the Credits?

Early this morning I had one of those bizarre before-waking dreams that make you doubt your own sanity and would make you doubt the sanity of the world if you didn't already know it was nuts.

I dreamed a movie--I know it was a movie because I wasn't in it and movie stars were, a fact I noticed even as I was dreaming. "Hey!" one part of my mind said to itself. "I'm not even in this dream! But movies stars are! I must be dreaming a movie! How interesting and artistic of me!" And then I went on to observe with horror the movie that unfolded.

The star with top billing was Drew Barrymore, and her character was supposed to charmingly kooky. The cast also included Jennifer Anniston and Kevin Bacon, and the plot centered on the discoveries by Barrymore and Anniston that they were each carrying Bacon's child. Barrymore dealt with it better than Anniston, whose character was supposed to be frighteningly psychotic.

There was a scene where Barrymore had to hide from Anniston in a very scary cobwebby, duct-filled basement, and another where Anniston chased Barrymore through the stands of some college football stadium while a game was in play--I didn't much care for the events of that scene but I was impressed by the camera work, which involved one of those extreme long shots filmed by a helicopter flying over the brightly lit stadium, filled with cheering extras pretending to be fans.

Having knocked both women up, Bacon didn't do much but stand around and make people wonder how he was still able to get two attractive women to sleep with him, or why, having done so, the women would be willing to carry his child to term.

That is all I remember of the dream--or rather, it's as much as I care to remember. I don't even know how it ended, so I can't tell you.